Saturday, December 21, 2013

Santa Can You Hear Me?

I know a few weeks back I said that October was the best month of the year… but in the spirit of Christmas I’m going to rescind my previous statement. December. December is the best month of the year. Jingle bells are ringing, snow is falling and there’s just something about Christmas lights in the trees that makes everywhere feel like home. Fur vests, leather boots, knitwear.... I love this season. My Christmas fashion list?? Once again a plethora of must have’s and must give to Good Will’s. Here we go:
1.     UGG’s: I may get slaughtered for saying this, but it has to be done. THROW THEM OUT. BURN THEM. GIVE THEM TO THE LESS FORTUNATE…I DON’T CARE. But get rid of them as fast as you can and then run next door to your friends place and get rid of hers too. Not only are they the ugliest things to happen to women’s feet in the last few decades, but also the least practical. Have you ever seen the sad, freezing girl walking across campus slip and fall on her bum in the middle of rush hour on Main St? Were you that girl? YES, BECAUSE UGG’s ARE A DEATH TRAP. Yes, I understand that they are warm, that’s all well and good….but if you’re so insistent on keeping your feet warm then store the UGGs in the back of the closet and put them on when you are relaxing at home (or ungodly hungover). I’m going to clue you in on a new age invention that’s got all the celebs’ going crazy… its called knitwear. Funny thing, socks, aren’t they? They come in all shapes, sizes, and materials, and they’re really quite WARM. Strap on some Free People thigh high knit socks under a pair of leather black boots and not only are you warm and attractive, but practical as well. As far as males in UGG’s… I’m going to stay silent on the subject because I choose not to say anything that could potentially endanger the reputation of my dream man, Tom Brady. ILY 12.
2.     Beanies: My god, YES. I don’t know what is it but I have this thing for girls in slouchy beanies. HUGE lady crush when I see these bombshell girls walking down the street in shiny leggings and leather cross-bodies with massive knit beanies over their luscious locks. I live for it. My advice is to get one in every color and invest in a high quality hair wand. Perfect results every time. Wand your hair before bed and wake up with that drowsy, artsy look. Slap on a beanie and chances are you will naturally look 100x better than about 75% of campus. The secret to success for those “I don’t look good in hats” people out there: Think major contrast. If you’re a brunette, go with cream knit. If you’re a blonde, go with black knit. If you’re a mousy brown or one of the awkward in-between colors, pick something bright and go for it.
3.     Fingerless gloves: Are you serious? YES. Buy them. Buy them all. It is now in fashion to wear a glove that allows you to retain warmth and text at the same time (praise Jesus). I sort of like the “homeless” look that comes with fingerless gloves. It makes me want to deck myself out in army green and overly blush my face so it looks like I’ve been walking through high winds for hours. Why? I’m not entirely sure. But sometimes that wind-brushed, “I had to walk to Paul from Young in subarctic temperatures and I’m miserable” look really comes off high fashion. And furthermore, nothing like a cold looking female to make a guy want to warm you up.
4.     Lipsticks: If anyone left on the planet was unaware of my endless love affair with lipstick...allow me to enlighten you. What’s NOT to love? I could go on for hours. This winter my Christmas list is packed with shades on total opposite ends of the color spectrum. I’m either going for extremely pale… or ungodly dark. For the females out there who still haven’t hopped on the lipstick train…. the time has come. A creamy, matte lip can pull together your outfit in a way that no glossy, shimmer lip can. Call me crazy if you want but I promise if you scope out the Kate Moss for Rimmel London Collection or YSL’s creamy nudes you will not be disappointed.
5.     Headband Ear Warmers: Trust me when I say I DO see the appeal in the knit headbands.  You can wear your hair up with them…. you can have the allure of a hat without giving yourself the dreaded “hat hair”…. not as ballsy as a hat but gives off the impression that you care about fashion and warmth… I know. But, please don’t kill me when I tell you I feel this is a hat winter. I’m not saying I’m going to throw my knitted head wraps out…. I’m just saying for those of you who haven’t given winter hats a shot yet, go for it. There are so many beanie options at our disposal, its truly catastrophic to look past all your hat options without even giving them a shot first. 
6.     Button Down Sweaters: Time to throw them out my friends… tis the season of pullovers, zippers, and open ended. There’s really no way to look bad in a big knit pullover sweater. They work for almost any occasion. They come in all colors. Genius. I even dig the lined, knit sweater that zip up and down giving off a more jacket vibe that have been gracing the shelves lately. Lastly (so we don’t rule out ALL buttons), the edgy pullover sweaters with a line of buttons trailing down the back are extremely trendy. I plan on scooping up as many as I can find.
7.     Nails: Nails right now I’m feeling the way I do about lipstick shades: total opposite ends of the color spectrum…. nudes and extremely dark berries and blacks. Shape? Rounded my friends. Pointy even. Channel your inner Rihanna. People always compliment me on my nails followed by “I could never pull that off.” Here’s the thing, you can. I know we don’t live in New York City. This is NH and it’s about as fashionable as small town America gets, but you can pull off whatever you want to. I like the crazy Rihanna looking nails so I get them. I am not any more qualified to have them as any of you. Their IN. Start small and work up bigger. But there really isn’t anything more fun then crazy nails.

Monday, September 16, 2013

What Not to Wear: Post Break-Up Edition

We’ve all been there – your (now ex) guy says its not working. It isn’t you, it’s him. He just wants to have fun right now. He needs some time to think things through. There’s someone else. The list is endless. The fact of the matter is, a breakup is a breakup and there’s no rulebook that says how to handle it. Whether you’re heartbroken or not, you’re in a transition stage...and as they say (whoever “they” are) it’s not about how you handle the good times, it’s about how you handle the hard times. Here are a few key pointers I’ve picked up over the years on how to look your best post-breakup.
1. Do not become the trampy bar girl. Yes, you got dumped. Yes, he may be at the bar tonight. And yes, you want him to see what he let go of. However dressing like a call girl and drinking your feelings in tequila is not the way to make him miss you. But it may end up with you crying (and possibly throwing up) your feelings later. The idea is to look classy, timeless, and, of course, sexy. An off the shoulder little black dress is my go-to. There’s nothing an LBD can’t fix. And stick to cosmos for the first night back on the prowl. Vodka is your friend.
2. Do not become a clone of his “new girl.” So what? She’s a little revealing with her 90’s hip-huggers and crop top. He went for you in the first place because of who YOU are. Chances are she’s just a phase. And NEWSFLASH: Becoming her wont win him back.
3. Do not blow three months pay on a new wardrobe. Yes, the breakup was hard and you lost a quick 10 lbs. You look fantastic! But let me tell you ladies that NOTHING comes back quicker than breakup weight. Revenge is bittersweet in that way. Borrow from your friends. Reinvent your style through the closets of others. Get back on your feet. Settle at a comfortable weight and THEN reward yourself.
4. DO however get a little adventurous in your outfits. Say you’ve always wanted to rock parachute pants but your ex thought they were weird looking. Now’s your chance! Do, wear, and live all the things he was holding you back from. Maybe you wanted a chic, little bob instead of your long, golden locks...go for it! The beauty of being by yourself is making choices with only your interest in mind. There’s nothing stopping you from dreading your hair, getting your tongue pierced, or simply painting your nails a very chic shade of black. It’s your life and its time you start living it!

Last but not least,  have the time of your life. The best accessory a girl can wear is a smile, and let me tell you: You could get a Gisele makeover but if you look miserable, he knows you’re miserable. Enjoy your girlfriends, flirt with that guy in your chem class, let down your hair and have a laugh...because nothing makes him say, “I’m an idiot” faster than seeing that you’re fine without him.

Santa Can You Hear Me?

I know a few weeks back I said that October was the best month of the year… but in the spirit of Christmas I’m going to rescind my previous ...